Life Update – I wrote a book!

Even though our new blog is up and running at our new site, I am going to keep updating this one also.

The great thing about blogging is you can share your life with the world! Well, actually anyone who stops by to read about it.

So I’m going to be sharing a different part of my reality on this blog. Yes, it will still be focused on Oppositional Defiance Disorder but less on education about the disorder and more on how to beat it.

For me, The Total Transformation Program was the answer. However it is not for everyone. It is expensive and requires a serious commitment. A lot of the lessons are fairly common sense but for some reason we don’t do it.

So I will tell you everything I know about the program here on this blog so you can decide for yourself if it is something you are interested in.

On our Behavior Modification Blog I am going to focus more on teaching you about Oppositional Defiance Disorder and behavior modification. I wrote a short little course on behavior modification techniques for people who are curious about what it is but don’t want to spend the money on The Total Transformation. So if you are interested, zip on over to our other blog for more information about my 7-Part Behavior Management Program.

Talk to you again soon,

~Holly

We’re MOVING!

Great news!

I’ve received a lot of emails and comments from families who feel alone. Their son/daughter’s Oppositional Defiance Disorder is embarrassing, frustrating and isolating them from family and friends.

Do you ever have the feeling like you are alone in this battle against ODD?

We’ll you are NOT alone!

We are moving this site to http://www.OurDefiantKids.com. I want to start a community for families with defiant children. I want to give us a place to share stories, share successes and have a place to vent after a long day of battling.

In the very near future, I will be adding tools like a forum, a chat room, a complete resource section and a LOT more.

So join me at our oppositional defiant disorder website and make sure you book mark that page because YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Holy~

Oppostitional Defiance Disorder – Rock Bottom

Dealing with my son’s oppositional defiance disorder was the most difficult and challenging experience of my life.Have you ever had one of those days with your ODD son or daughter when you felt like it couldn’t get any worse? That day came for my family on January 10th of 2002. I was used to getting phone calls from Mike’s elementary school but somehow today felt different. The principal, who was usually understanding and sympathetic to Mike’s Oppositional Defiance Disorder, was very cold on the phone. He just said, “you need to come pick Mike up from school, now.”

He knew I couldn’t just pack up and leave my job just to pick Mike up from school! After Mike’s father left us I had to get a second job to pay the bills but I couldn’t just tell my boss I had to leave early. Mr McNeil, the principal, made it very clear to me that I either came to get Mike from school or he would be expelled. Thank God my boss was understanding.

When I got to the school I saw Mike sitting in the office and as I walk in the door he screams “There’s the F#*KER!” Words can’t describe the embarrassment I felt. I could feel the office staff staring at me. I broke down crying, right there in the office. I had never heard Mike say such disgusting things.

Mr McNeil took us into his office where he told me the story of how Mike sat in class and yelled, “Shut up, F#*KER!” every time one of the students or the teacher tried to talk. He continued to do it down the hall on the way to the principals office and to the principle.

I was overwhelmed. I felt like such a horrible parent. How did he learn those words? I knew that everyone thought I taught him that. Everywhere we went everyone gave me dirty looks when Mike acted out. I tried everything, yelling, screaming, loving, caring, begging and a lot of crying… but nothing worked.

Now here I am sitting in my son’s principle’s office being told that “if his behavior doesn’t improve we will have to expel him.” THEN WHAT? Home-school? I can’t home-school him, I have to work! It’s just the two of us, he has to go to school. I can’t do this alone!

Where the hell did he learn the F-word? Why can’t he just be a good kid? Am I really just a bad parent? What am I going to do?

I had a complete breakdown when we got home and Mike was as sweet as he can be. He hugged me while I cried which only made it worse because I kept thinking, “why can’t he be like this all the time!”

A few day’s later, I stumbled across a website about Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I had already tried the drugs Mike’s doctor recommended but I didn’t want to poison my son so I stopped them. I read a few books which didn’t help and as I was reading the webpage all I could think of was “shut up, F*#KER!”

What was I going to do? I had to try everything, God knows if Mike got expelled I didn’t know how we would survive. So I decided to give it a try. What did I have to lose? It could not possibly get any worse than Mike calling me a F$&KER in public.

I am amazed at how well the program worked.

Is he cured, no. He will never be cured however he has not had an outburst since January 10th. I’ll never forget that day and had I not been at my wits end, I would have never tried behavior management. Talk about a blessing in disguise. My son runs around calling people the F-word and it was the best thing that could ever happen to us.

Holly~

Oppositional Defiance Disorder Video

THIS VIDEO IS DOWN!

I am searching for a replacement video that is still a good example.

This is a classic example of oppositional defiant disorder. Does this behavior look familiar? Do you have to deal with defiant behavior like this everyday? I remember the days when Mike’s behavior was like this. It almost hurts to watch because it is so real.

Did you notice the parent’s response…. argh, behavior like that can be so hard to deal with but that kind of response is never going to help the situation. It is frustrating when your child is acting like this but you MUST remain strong and calm. You have to be the PARENT.

It was a hard lesson for me to learn. I wasn’t a bad parent and neither are they (or you) but parenting an ODD child is extremely challenging. You have to learn what works.

You shouldn’t have to tolerate behavior like this. You CAN change your child’s behavior. For me a behavior management program worked wonders. It’s not the right solution for everyone but it is definitely worth a try.

A Parent with Oppositional Defiance Disorder

An amazing story about one couple’s commitment to helping the less fortunate. The most interesting thing is that Dave actually has Oppositional Defiance Disorder.

“Yes, she and her husband of 37 years, David, have seven children with disabilities, ages 31 to 5. The Swanton couple has adopted nearly all of them, the first as Gerald Ford was preparing to leave the White House.
However, anyone who believes they have the perfect pedestal for the Quicks should save it for someone else. The Quicks don’t want, need, or seek accolades. ”

http://www.samessenger.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1520

Stories like this are encouraging. Oppositional Defiance Disorder doesn’t mean the world is over. It just takes commitment and perseverance.

I promise it gets better.

Holly~

How to Treat Oppositional Defiant Disorder

There is an article on WebMD that does a good job of describing possible treatment methods for dealing with Oppositional Defiance Disorder.

Treatment is determined based on many factors, including the child’s age, the severity of symptoms, and the child’s ability to participate in and tolerate specific therapies. Treatment usually consists of a combination of the following:

• Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy (a type of counseling) is aimed at helping the child develop more effective ways to express and control anger. A type of therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy aims to reshape the child’s thinking (cognition) to improve behavior. Family therapy may be used to help improve family interactions and communication among family members. A specialized therapy technique called parent management training (PMT) teaches parents ways to positively alter their child’s behavior.
• Medication: While there is no medication formally approved to treat ODD, various medications may be used to treat some of its distressing symptoms, as well as any other mental illnesses that may be present, such as ADHD or depression.

What Is the Outlook for Children With Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

If your child is showing signs of ODD, it is very important that you seek care from a qualified doctor immediately. Without treatment, children with ODD may experience rejection by classmates and other peers because of their poor social skills, and aggressive and annoying behavior. In addition, a child with ODD has a greater chance of developing a more serious behavioral disorder called conduct disorder. When started early, treatment is usually very effective.

Can Oppositional Defiant Disorder Be Prevented?

Although it may not be possible to prevent ODD, recognizing and acting on symptoms when they first appear can minimize distress to the child and family, and prevent many of the problems associated with the illness. Family members also can learn steps to take if signs of relapse (return of symptoms) appear. In addition, providing a nurturing, supportive and consistent home environment with a balance of love and discipline may help reduce symptoms and prevent episodes of defiant behavior.

Another great article. There is so little available information about Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I hope my blog is helping you find out the latest news and information about ODD. I just wish there was something around like this when I was struggling with Mike’s behavior.

I’m happy to report that Mike has made it through his first month of school with NO ISSUES! It is such a relief knowing that he is able to control his disorder and actually enjoys going to school. The teachers are shocked at how good his is these days. I’m so grateful to have my son back. And just like this article says, drugs were not the right solution for our family.

Holly~

More on Oppositional Defiance Disorder and ADD drugs

This is out of control and completely shocked me. This article blew my mind.

It is outrageous to think that we are prescribing these anti-psychotic drugs at a rate of 200-500% more than in previous years. Looks like I wasn’t the only one looking for a simple solution.

But what is REALLY shocking that the FDA has never approved these drugs to be used in children. They have been tested in adults to treat much more severe conditions but no one has bothered to test whether they are safe in kids!

And looks at these side effects:

“Side effects, including diabetes, increased serum lipids, significant weight gain, sedation and cardiovascular effects, are frequently encountered with atypical anti-psychotics. Children may be more likely to develop these side effects, and once occurring, they may stay with the child for years into adulthood.”

Mike is too important to me to risk these side-effects just for my own piece of mind. I am so glad that the behavior modification program worked. If we had to resort to drugs as a long-term solution I don’t know what would have happened to his health.

I am a firm believer that with hard work and patience parents can overcome the problems associated with oppositional defiance disorder and provide their children a happier, healthier life.

Don’t be mistaken, behavior training is NOT easy! It requires work. But to me, Mike is worth it….. and so much more.

Holly~

Drugs can’t cure Oppositional Defiance Disorder

When Mike was first diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder, we thought using getting a prescription drug would help control his behavior, God knows we needed to try something! He was out of control! He wouldn’t listen, always acted out and his teachers repeatedly complained about his behavior in school. We were at our wits end….

The diagnosis gave us hope that we would be able to help control his behavior. Our doctor recommended putting him on medication. It seemed like it was the answer to our prayers. We had him on the medication for about 6 months and his behavior was a million times better! But something wasn’t right, he was lethargic and apathetic. He seemed to lose a bit of his personality.

So we did some research on treating oppositional defiance disorder. After I read this article, I started to cry.

I realized that in my efforts to make my life easier and calmer I was poisoning my son. I was looking for an easy solution instead of helping my son cope with his disorder.

I mean, did I expect him to be on these pills for the rest of his life? That is ubsurd. It is also obsurd to think that these drugs that were to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorder in adults wouldn’t somehow negatively affect Mike’s development.

I was pissed at the doctor for not telling me that there is no research on the long-term effects of these drugs.

But more importantly I’m pissed at myself trying to take the easy road. I wasn’t helping Mike with his oppositional defiance disorder by feeding him anti-psychotic pills, I was making my life easier.

Since then we’ve begun a behavior modification program with Mike and the results have been phenomenal! He is not acting out nearly as much as before, he’s much more respectful and he’s healthy! The transformation has been great but what’s most important is our relationship is stronger. I feel like I can love him again and he truly loves me.

Drugs should be used only as a last resort. If your child is suffering from oppositional defiance disorder, try a proven behavior modification program first. You’ll be glad you did.

Holly~

Oppositional Defiance Disorder with ADD and/or ADHD

Did you know that 60-65% of children diagnosed with ADD and/or ADHD also have Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Dealing with a child with multiple conditions can wear a parent down. Children afflicted with multiple disorders require more attention and focused effort.How can you tell if your child has Oppositional Defiance Disorder? The typical symptoms are listed below, however the most accurate measure is to consult a physician. It is important to get diagnosed early because ODD may lead to conduct and personality disorders later in life. If you child has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD be on the lookout for signs of ODD.

With early diagnosis and a regular treatment plan you can manage your child’s behavior ensuring them a happy and healthy childhood.

Holly

Oppositional Defiance Disorder – The Signs and Symptoms

In recent years there has been a dramatic increase in diagnosis of ADD and ADHD. More recent developments have identified Oppositional Defiance Disorder as the next behavioral disturbance in the line of explanations for our children’s defiant behavior. While they all have similar symptoms, Oppositional Defiance Disorder is characterized by a unique set of symptoms including:

• Throwing repeated temper tantrums
• Excessively arguing with adults
• Actively refusing to comply with requests and rules
• Deliberately trying to annoy or upset others, or being easily annoyed by others
• Blaming others for mistakes
• Having frequent outbursts of anger and resentment
• Being spiteful and seeking revenge
• Swearing or using obscene language
• Saying mean and hateful things when upset
• In addition, many children with ODD are moody, easily frustrated and have a low self-esteem.
• They also may abuse drugs and alcohol.

(source http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/oppositional-defiant-disorder )

It can be very difficult to deal with a child suffering from Oppositional Defiance Disorder however, there is hope! Proper education and relationship management techniques can have a dramatic impact on a child suffering from ODD.

Based on my review of available material, a behavior modification program provides the most complete program for dealing with a child with Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Dealing with Oppositional Defiance Disorder is not easy but they can help. His program is packed with valuable advice on developing and building a relationships between parent and child, this program can improve your child’s condition and the families overall quality of life.

Holly