When Mike was first diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder, we thought using getting a prescription drug would help control his behavior, God knows we needed to try something! He was out of control! He wouldn’t listen, always acted out and his teachers repeatedly complained about his behavior in school. We were at our wits end….
The diagnosis gave us hope that we would be able to help control his behavior. Our doctor recommended putting him on medication. It seemed like it was the answer to our prayers. We had him on the medication for about 6 months and his behavior was a million times better! But something wasn’t right, he was lethargic and apathetic. He seemed to lose a bit of his personality.
So we did some research on treating oppositional defiance disorder. After I read this article, I started to cry.
I realized that in my efforts to make my life easier and calmer I was poisoning my son. I was looking for an easy solution instead of helping my son cope with his disorder.
I mean, did I expect him to be on these pills for the rest of his life? That is ubsurd. It is also obsurd to think that these drugs that were to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorder in adults wouldn’t somehow negatively affect Mike’s development.
I was pissed at the doctor for not telling me that there is no research on the long-term effects of these drugs.
But more importantly I’m pissed at myself trying to take the easy road. I wasn’t helping Mike with his oppositional defiance disorder by feeding him anti-psychotic pills, I was making my life easier.
Since then we’ve begun a behavior modification program with Mike and the results have been phenomenal! He is not acting out nearly as much as before, he’s much more respectful and he’s healthy! The transformation has been great but what’s most important is our relationship is stronger. I feel like I can love him again and he truly loves me.
Drugs should be used only as a last resort. If your child is suffering from oppositional defiance disorder, try a proven behavior modification program first. You’ll be glad you did.
While I respect your decision for your family, we have chosen to incorporate both behavior modification and medication. The reason is the medication slows him down enough to think through processes and what we are saying to him. His emotions are more in control so that the behavior modification works. Believe me, I understand ODD. There was a day where it took a teacher and me to carry my son out of school because he was so aggressive. He daily argued about every little thing…very tiring. I could not even begin to think about behavior modification until I could get his emotions under control. He would continually interrupt, cry, etc.
We work closely with the school, with his doctor, and our own rules…we use as much positive reinforcement as possible and try to ignore as much as possible. If his behavior is so bad that it must be addressed, there are consequences such as loss of privilege, with the incentive that there can be a positive reward if he makes a better choice the next time. We have our son on a generic of ritalin, and it does not at all make my son “zombie-like”. On the contrary, it helps him to stay focused and less “spacey”. And for some reason, this medication has help lessen his ODD behavior, i.e. the argumentative part has decreased by 90%. I have heard, though, that it can take many months to get medication and dosage right, as everyone is so different. So, if a medication does have a “zombie-like” effect, rather than giving up on medication altogether, it might be worthwhile in looking at a different dosage or medicine.
My goal is that while incorporating both medicine and behavior therapy, this good behavior will become habit and will be able to decrease the medicine as he gets older and learn ways of coping, i.e. organizational skills.
The reason I also choose to use the multimodal treatment is that if he doesn’t get control of himself quickly, his self-esteem will be totally gone from constantly being in trouble, he would not have any friends which could lead to depression. So maybe it doesn’t cure it, but it makes his quality of life better as well as everyone around him.
Just my two cents…
Thank you very much for sharing your experience.
I think you have the right idea. My only point with this post was that there is no drug that will CURE ODD. I don’t want other parents to be confused and think that drugs are the only answer.
I firmly believe that drugs are a viable option for coping with ODD but should be used only as a last resort. At the end of the day, you have to do what will help you son or daughter live the best life they can live and sometimes that means medication.
I think a multi modal approach like the one you have taken is a great option for severe cases. Behavior management techniques will help your child learn correct behavior while the drugs free their mind to absorb the lessons.
Congratulations on finding a workable solution for you son.
Best wishes,
Holly
Hi. We have been struggling with our son for years. I believe that he may have ODD, or possibly bipolar disorder. His emotions range from extreme caring, kindness, elation to extremely hyper – won’t sleep without supplements, to violent rages lasting hours. He is only five. His behavior has gradually escalated since we adopted him when he was two, but was very much present then. We didn’t know what might be a result of the upset caused by the adoption, or what might be hereditary. We basically are grasping at straws.
We spent a year with a psychiatrist at our children’s hospital who prescribed a range of medications that didn’t work, and which I was reluctant to use in the first place, and flat objected to in the end. He does currently take a small dose of a blood pressure med which helps him to calm down. Before that he would literally run until he would throw up, look at the puke, then keep going. Still this only helps him calm down a little, for a short time. It doesn’t prevent raging out of control.
Your story of rock bottom hits home. My son is homeschooled and luckily hasn’t learned that word yet, but I could easily see that exact scenario playing out if he were in public school, which is why we chose to homeschool, and thankfully can make ends meet while doing it. Sometimes though, I wish I could send him to public school for a mental breather! It is extremely rare for me to cry over this, because I’m pretty much numb about it. I feel like a failure, but at the same time I wish someone else could have a taste of what I go through with him… in that regard I feel like wonder woman.
We have been wondering about the total transformation program for a while, but haven’t wanted to drop that kind of money on something that may not work at all. When my son melts down it is rapid, and no words could get through… he degenerates into some kind of animal for anywhere from half an hour to several hours. Can this program actually help with that? How? We’ve read almost every book. We’ve tried rewards, we’ve tried eliminating privileges… still it escalates. The violence is what scares me, because soon he won’t be little, and will be far more dangerous. He won’t go to his room or stay there, damages property, and is pysically abusive. He will go after you punching you in the back, etc. Is this behavior beyond the scope of TT?
Chelsea,
You are NOT a failure. I know it is tough at times, I know! But you must be strong!
TT is a behavior modification system. Establishing a consistent system of how you interact with your son so the he learns the rewards of good behavior and consequences of bad behavior.
TT will NOT work if you aren’t consistent. That is the key to success for any program. It is very easy to become frustrated and give up. I’ve been there! I read 15 books before I found TT and finally made a commitment to making it work! I told myself that WE could not afford to fail. So I gave it everything I got!
My suggestion is that you give it a try, they give you a free trial period. Once you get the program, listen and watch the whole thing. Decide if you can make a commitment to trying everything they recommend. If it seems too difficult or you don’t think it will work, send it back and get a refund.
The key is commitment and consistency… some of the techniques are difficult to implement, it is so easy to just give into his temper tantrum so you don’t have to deal with it anymore but in order for him to get better you MUST believe in the system.
Please let me know what you decide. I wish I could lend you my copy but I actually already gave it away.
Make a commitment
Give TT a try
Stay focused
Stay in touch…..
You are a wonderful mother and your son will be glad you never gave up on him!